<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Cosmos Love by 1NARINTAR0</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27408949">Cosmos Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/1NARINTAR0/pseuds/1NARINTAR0'>1NARINTAR0</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Haikyuu Angst Week 2020, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:07:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,120</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27408949</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/1NARINTAR0/pseuds/1NARINTAR0</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the universe of uncertainty, one's coughing petals, one's crying star-tears, both cling on the question for once did you ever love me?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei, Kageyama Tobio/Yachi Hitoka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Haikyuu Angst Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Cosmos Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The word "Cosmos" is often used to illustrate one's deepest feelings of love. The flower can mean 'walk with me hand in hand' and 'see, life is indeed beautiful.'</p><p>Hanahaki Disease (花吐き病) is a fictional disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible if left untreated. </p><p>Star Tear Disease is the sparkly star-like tears, accompanied by twinkling sounds caused by unrequited love. The illness would disappear if the victim gets their feeling required romantically and not in a matter of friendship. And if not, the beautiful glimmer of the tears will eventually blind you.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>As we watch the sunset from your hospital room's window, I never really thought we would be this close. You are a noisy short stupid human tangerine. You barely even score 2 digits in your exams. I once asked you to spell the word 'orange,' and then you wondered which one of the color and the fruit. Then you suddenly showed up on <em> 'Shiratorizawa's Miyagi First Year Training Camp'  </em>when you were not even invited. I thought I would hate you for the rest of my life, but here I am, holding you and helplessly want to save you from this fall. I thought you like flying, but why are you drowning now in a pool of thorns. Stabbing yourself with an Excalibur of rejection. Are you really that dumb? </p><p><strong>"Can you sing me a song?"</strong> You asked. You lose weight and your will on playing volleyball in just a few periods, in only three fucking months. Gods damn! It's curable, but you told me you better start learning how to swim so you could enjoy the universe of uncertainty. After all the years I spent beside you, I still really can't understand your stupidity.  </p><p><strong>"...Please. I don't want to hear the bells ringing. It's... creeping me out."</strong> The whole room is empty. It's just you and me, here silently talking to each other, and I never feared something this much. Can you really hear the bell of eternal rest? Isn't it too soon? <strong>"I thought you don't like giving up? But what are you doing now, Shrimpy? Are you really that dumb?!"</strong> I retorted. </p><p><strong>"Tsukishima."</strong> you said with a monotonous rough broken voice of yours. Of course, I am a fool myself, too, and so I asked, <strong>"...what song?"</strong> You looked at me once more. There it is... you're annoying bright smile. Do you know how much I wanted to tell you that your smile bothers me. </p><p><strong>"You are my sunshine."</strong> It really bothers me. I looked at the window staring at the autumn's sun setting down slowly as if it's watching every single second I spent with you today. Am I too selfish if I asked the Gods to make this stop? </p><p><strong>"You are my sunshine..."</strong> I looked back at you, who's holding a picture of you and Kageyama, and their stupid wedding card invitation that Yachi gave. I want them to disappear. I want them to feel your pain instead and not saw them smile ear to ear and get married. While you? Fight for your life because you're too stupid to let go of those feelings. </p><p><strong>"My only sunshine..."</strong> Always stupid, Shoyo. You started coughing more petals, and your grip on my hands tightened. Hands are shaking, and you're sweating intensely. Shoyo, you are afraid, yet I guess your gut, pride, and foolish love for the King is stronger than anything else in your life. Or maybe I should say you see him as your life? </p><p><strong>"You make me happy..."</strong> Dumb orange petals it's tragically beautiful, like the color of your hair. I want to be angry at the Gods and at your foolishness. I didn't know you're that really dumb to put your life at risk. We're in the hospital, and I could fucking send you to the surgery room if I want to, but I don't want you to think I am that desperate. And after all, I told you I would support you with your life decisions. </p><p><strong>"See—"</strong> you said as you cough again, and this time I can recognize what orange flower petals it is. Cosmos. <strong>"B-b-bakageya-ma... smile... made my life beautiful."</strong> You smiled as you cry your pain. Fool. I want to ask if somehow or for once<em> 'Did you ever love me?'</em> But I would be more stupid than you if these petals are not enough to make me realize you never did, and you only had your heart for him. </p><p><strong>"...when skies are gray,"</strong> Pathetic. The King sure has anything he likes, even the one last thing I love the most. The last thing that I wish I could hold forever. But even in this game of love, I will always lose to the King. </p><p>Your knees collapsed entirely, and you dropped on the floor. I caught you and placed you on my thighs. I made you look into my eyes, but I'm actually afraid you will see through me. That you might notice the blueness in my eyes. But I don't want you to feel obligated and guilty over my feelings when I am the one who hid it when I still have a chance. But as your eyes engulfed my mine, I wondered to myself, since when did your eyes sunshine die? Am I not enough to keep them alive? To keep you alive... I bitterly laughed at myself. Stupid, Kei. </p><p><strong>"You'll never, know dear,"</strong> I didn't spare even just a single drop of tears as you lose your battles with those stupid flowers. Your grip tightened for the last time, and I squeeze your hands to tell you I am still here, I am always here, and <strong>"...how much I love you,"</strong> Your hands' weight suddenly lightened, your eyelids given up. I didn't cry normal tears when you are fighting with your petals.</p><p>I looked at you and caress you face as you kissed and greet the God of death because I know I could go blind any minute from the moment I started crying star tears for you. And today... I felt that these tears coming are the last ones that I have. It streamed down my cheeks and the sound it made shattered me into pieces. It sounded like your laugh... the twinkling laugh that you made when your heart is still full of shine. </p><p><strong>"Please don't take... my sunshine away..."</strong> The last twilight and autumn I spent with you has ended, but the pain you left for me will never end. I took one last look at you and kissed your orange hair. I closed my eyes and cried every single tear I could shed. At least now I won't see a world without you.</p><p>In this once upon a time, a falling star fell from the sun's heart and landed in the moon's eyes. I screamed aloud as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind as the galaxy slowly consumed my eyes that only can see you.</p><p><strong>"Stupid, foolish, pathetic Kei."</strong> I cried.</p>
<hr/><p>Little did the boy know that the sun was all along, hiding his love for the moon. It was the moon and always him since the first autumn they spent together until his last. Will there ever be a lifetime waiting for the moon and sun?</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Soundtracks<br/>You Are My Sunshine - Johnny Cash<br/>Cosmic Love - Florence &amp; the Machine<br/>Lifetime - Ben&amp;Ben</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>